!

The fog almost filled the air but it wasn’t enough to blur her vision as she saw the train leaving.
It wasn’t a goodbye, they had never been together
But don’t know why today she felt a heart break.
The sound of the whistle was clear and it woke her up from cold nostalgia.
Not that she didn’t want to run behind the train, which seemed to be moving faster than usual but this that she knew love was not in her destiny.
Then she weeped. Struggling to cry out the part of him in her but she knew she would fail. There was too much to let go and she wanted to hold on.
Her heart knew it could not love again ;
And it isn’t easy to convince a heart, farewell has always been the hardest part.

She carried herself back home only to find everything was the same.
Life is like this – It is always your own pain.
She walked across the living room; her mother’s voice seemed like a soft lullaby slowly putting her life to sleep.
She opened the door to her room, it brought back the memories..memories of someone who she had always loved and of someone now gone.
Photographs tell us a story – A story which we once lived but her story could not be cherished; Even the footsteps seemed to fade away.
Letters she had none – her mother had burned them when she read them. Yes, she had lost a lot.
He told her he didn’t love her last night. He kept it as simple as that and she made herself believe it wasn’t easy for him not knowing things will never be the same again.
She felt numb, No – she felt nothing.
She didn’t have tears in her eyes, she was crying out her heart now.
Suddenly life had no meaning.
She had lost her father when she was thirteen and today she lost the second man she had ever loved.
Her mother had always been there for her but she lost her trust – and she lost it all there.
If she had something left in her – it was the faith she had.
God loves all. She tried hard to talk to the idol on her bedside but hearing no voice again she knew she was make-believing.
She decided to live.
Not living for a reason but living to find that reason.
She went to school every day. Her friends seemed to care.
She never had many though-there were only a few she loved.
They wanted their friend back but she was long gone.
They gave up on her soon, she knew they wouldn’t understand.
A heart breaks too silently for the world to hear and then it has always been the tears which say it all?

No, she didn’t cry at nights. They were just long, long December nights.
She sat on the bench near the riverside and went into deep thoughts; she never knew what were they about or how long did they last.
Her heart missed him but she didn’t. She told herself that she was strong. She knew time could heal but quite some time had passed.
One night it rained heavily. She walked on the street unaware of the cold – unaware of the car that finally made her feel some pain.
The red from her heart finally oozed out as blood and mixed with the rain.
Her phone lay on the street ringing and we saw his name flashing and then silently fading.

  Lost yesterday, somewhere between sunrise and sunset ,two golden hours each set with sixty diamond minutes.No reward is offered,for they are gone FOREVER.

I left my heart somewhere in the past.

The future is nothing but a mirage.

The moments are lost and no answers have been found.

Surviving or living ?Is there a difference,now?

Cognitive appraisal.!

 

Half of me?

The original snap happens to be pretty different but somehow I like this edited version.

There are two sides of every person.They interact constantly in our unconscious mind.It is a human tendency to favor one side.

The conflict between these two sides leads to half of the problems in us.

 

 

'How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
As though to breath were life' - Ulysses by Alfred Lord Tennyson. 

Time - When it flies,It keeps on flying.
 Make the most of today. 
It is the most beautiful gift of God but sadly,half of us don't even know how to value it. 



One day I heard someone say, 'Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket.'
How Important it is to have memories:Those narrow lanes are lost.Those kites flying above are no more ours.The children screaming with happiness when it's time for 'em to go home from school,when was the last time we felt that happy? Ironically,We lost ourselves in the futile and consistent efforts to find ourselves.
And somewhere in some corner of our hearts we genuinely have a silent hope 'I wish I could be a child again.'

The sun has to set.

And the sun did set.

But then why did the stars also refuse to shine?

Why did my angel leave me,when I needed it the most?

I was holding on a rope till I lost my grip,

The black can’t turn blacker but in my case,It did.

I knelt before you just for a little sunshine,

I prayed every night but even you couldn’t make things right.

The red began to fade as the yellow turned light.

I looked towards the moon now,

Even the clouds were not on my side.

I closed my eyes then,I chose darkness over the light.

I waited.

I felt my world fall apart,

If I could,I would run back into the past!

I hated the stillness around me.

Couldn’t somebody come and lead me to the light?

I hoped each day,I knew things would go right

But how much could hope survive?It died.

I don’t have chains around me but I still don’t feel free.

I smile,But without a shine in my eyes.

Is the ocean still deep?

Do children still cry for lollipops?

Does the wet mud still smell the same?

Do the birds still fly?

Haven’t seen life for so long!

I wished it could all end.

There is no day waiting for me…

I got a call,I finally opened my eyes,

I said,”Hello?”

“He is out of danger,wants to see you.” Said the voice!

I looked at the sky,the moon stood shinning.

I had closed my eyes,How could I have seen the light?

I had lost all hopes,without making an effort to find.

The sun has to set

But it is incomplete without its sunshine,

Look around and search for that light!

Life is for real!

One thing I always feared in life was this that when I look into someones eyes i don’t see hatred for myself,I don’t see pity for me,i don’t see the feeling of revenge in them.Infact I never wanted to see sad eyes,I never wanted anyone to say this to me “you have fallen down in my eyes”,I never wanted to see a feeling of disgust for me in peoples eyes,I never wanted someone’s eyes to say “you broke my trust” but the thing I dreaded the most was my own eyes lowering down on seeing someone.I never wanted a feeling of guilt to creep into me but it all happened!
Life is unpredictable,one moment it gives you all the reasons to be on the 9th cloud and just with the blink of your eyes makes you fall on the surface,harder than you expected to fall!If today I sit and write about how beautiful my life is,I will be able to write a lot,I am lucky when it comes to certain things but as seen people generally do not count their blessings.The same is with me.I like writing about all the “negative things” in my life,I am not a pessimist but yes then I am not even a complete optimist.I love to be happy but then how can I always be happy when my life isn’t perfect?I am wrong,my thought process is wrong.Perfection and happiness and two different things,happiness is attainable and perfection is something which cannot be attained!Why are we expecting life to be fair when we know it can never be fair?
Perfection doesn’t come along with happiness,it’s just this that when we start finding joy in small things what we experience after some time is perfect happiness!And we humans require prefect happiness and not a perfect life!
We go wrong,we do the wrong deed without thinking about the consequences and when finally we have to face the consequences we are shattered.What for?It is life,you will go wrong,you aint God..and the fact is this that you can never be God!So be human,don’t blame yourself for every little thing that happens in your life,be a person who trusts oneself and who listens to what others say but does what the inner being says!Get over the fact that God does everything,stop thinking that he has a solution to every problem and that he will always be there for you..learn to be independent!Accept the way life is going.Even if you hate your life,accept that hatred as a part of you!Deal with it!Grow up!Crying is not the solution to every problem on earth and every problem on earth doesn’t even have a solution.Sometimes you need to just “let it lie” to let things be.everything in life is not worth your attention and hence you need to realize that life will NOT always be great!There are low times in everyones life and in some lives there are no high points at all.Again accept the fact and move on!Don’t curse!Sometimes you give in your best but you don’t even get half of what you expected.It hurts.I know..i can understand but then till what time do you sit and lament about the fact that you never get what you deserve?Life is too short to regret things and events.Be a happy person.Your tears are way too precious.There are people who love you, maybe you don’t get the same love that you give others back but then you can’t beg for love,you have to smile when life expects you to cry!Be stong!Be a Gods child!Never blame him for the events taking place in your life..ask yourself..there must be a reason behind them..a reason which you already know or which you will soon come to know!Be patient!Life has too much in store for you..it will suffocate you to death but you have to breathe,you need to live,you need to love your life when you think it hates you!Not because you can’t fight back but because you need to accept the fact that however great you are your life and God will always be greater than you!Sometimes you fall down in everyones eyes,sometimes the people who mean a lot to you don’t even look at you,sometimes you don’t know what have you done that everything around you seems so blurry.These are the testing times.Don’t fail.Accept it and do something about it and if you can’t let it be.Time does wonders.It really does.I am not asking you to be a loser in life,I am just expecting you to realize the fact that this life is worth everything but one thing that you need to know is this that it cannot be fair!
I am not asking you to kill your desires and expectations but I am asking you to be strong enough when they don’t come true.I am not asking you not to believe in God but I am asking you to stop blaming him for everything.I am not asking you to be a perfect human being but I am asking you to be a sensible human being who doesn’t demand perfection or complete happiness,who just lives life as it comes with tears and laughter,with friends and enemies,with dreams and shattered dreams,with pride and guilt,with trust and sometimes without it!You have to live this life..you need to live this life with a large heart and a broad smile!You need to be strong enough to correct your own mistakes and rise up again in the eyes of others,you need to look into the eyes of a person,you need to come out of your guilt and live a happy life,you need to stop paying attention to what everyone says and sometimes you need to look down and say a “sorry”.That’s life and that’s how it will be for you and for me!Sometimes you need to live your biggest fears and you need to be strong enough to face them!
Sometimes life truly sucks and at those times we need to know that it does suck!We cannot run away from the reality everytime!Face yourself and your life before it gets too late and you have nothing left with you!Come out of your illusions and come to the real world!Life is for real..know that and deal with it!